Yale Students Boycott Commencement Speech by Nigerian Ex-President, Goodluck Jonathan; Complain of "Cultural Appropriation"

A recent decision by administrators at Yale University to invite the former President of Nigeria, Mr. Goodluck Jonathan, to deliver next year's commencement speech has been met with wide condemnation by the student body. The decision to invite Mr. Jonathan was made in early October, but was announced roughly coinciding with the surge in student protests following a controversial e-mail sent to the student body by the wife of the master of Silliman College, Ms. Christakis.  

In that e-mail, Ms. Christakis disavowed an earlier e-mail sent by a cultural committee which dissuaded Yale students from donning potentially offensive Halloween costumes, and from wearing "turbans, feathered headdresses" and other traditional pieces which could constitute cultural appropriation. Ms. Christakis argued that the university was going too far in telling adult students what they could or could not wear. 

Goodluck Jonathan. WKP
Former President Jonathan, who received a cowboy hat as a gift from George W. Bush during one of his visits to Africa, is known for proudly sporting the gift given to him by the former Texan chief of state. This has caused consternation among some of the Texan students at Yale, who rallied outside of the university president's house, with signs reading: "My culture is not a political prop"; "Cultural Appropriation is not OK"; "I'm a cowboy, not a dress toy."  

Jessica Houston, a member of the social advocacy group "Texan Students at Yale," decried what she called the use of "cowface" by former President Jonathan. Houston told Abreu Report: "The University should be a platform for tolerance, not hate and cultural appropriation. We can't have someone on campus using the cultural pieces of marginalized groups for their own political gain."

Defending former President Jonathan in an article in the Nigerian Herald, a supporter wrote: "Even when Jesus healed the sick or resurrected the dead, they found fault with him. What many of us now revere as Holy scripture, that is Goodluck Jonathan’s reality. Damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t."

Given the tense climate on campus, Yale University may be forced to rescind the commencement speech invitation to Mr. Jonathan. Some students see this as a loss for free speech, but most see it as a victory for tolerance and social justice.

Yale College Professor Sentenced to Five Years of "Recorrection" in Northern Alaska Happiness Safe Space

Judge Luther. Copyright Lauterborn 
After days of hearing tense testimony, people's judge Jerelyn Luther, presiding at New Haven's people court of first instance along with two people's assessors, has decreed that former Yale professor, Nicholas A. Christakis (53,) be incarcerated for a term of five years at the Northern Alaska Happiness Safe Space, in a trial that stoked national and international attention.

Mr. Christakis was just this past Halloween embroiled in an assault of the people's home, an attack which the court believed he carried out using cybernetic means.

Judge Luther and her two assessors heard testimony from dozens of victims, some currently suffering from a laundry list of ailments longer than the lines outside the Apple-capitalist-conglomerate during a new gadget launch. 

The Yale People's Daily reported that these ailments range from "insomnia" to "inability to concentrate" on their assigned Howard Zinn readings.

One of Mr. Christakis' victims told the court, her face clearly distressed for the people: "It was your job to create a place of comfort and home for the students. You have not done that. By executing that cybernetic attack -- sending hate propaganda -- that went against your position serving the people. Do you understand that!?"

Mr. Christakis had already entered a guilty plea in exchange for lenient sentencing, and as part of his plea he agreed to listen to the pain he had caused each individual, and to offer an apology. 

A young female, tears in her eyes, told Mr. Christakis: "You picked sides against the people, arguing for the wearing of capitalist outfits. You violated our home here. Do you understand that?"

Mr. Christakis, wearing a gender-neutral, color-neutral custody uniform and visibly shaken, replied: "I am guilty of wrongdoing, wrong-thinking, and wrong-association. I have failed my role as home protector. I should be sent to an isolated safe space, where I can reflect on the hurt I caused the people. I thank the people's assessors and the people's judge for their leniency and for believing in my ability to learn from this mistake and become a better citizen."

Cunt of the Week: TSA House Nigger in Houston

I've been around the world, from Rio to Manila, and never have I been obligated to answer questions to the extent which I did when flying into the US, a country of which I am a citizen. In fact, I very rarely have nightmares, and just last night I had a nightmare about the Transportation Security Administration. 

Those fucking cocksuckers, who have been caught stealing more frequently than they have been highlighted for catching terrorists, should all get cancer or kill themselves.

First there was that Mexican cunt at the entry line who asked me what I did for a living. When I told her I was a writer, that wetback bitch told me that she couldn't find my books in her computer. I guess they hire people so retarded that they can't even perform a rudimentary Google search. She put an X on some piece of shit paper I had to print after taking a selfie in one of those fucking 1984 machines. I hope her children are stillborn, or that she gets brutally raped by a pack of wild niggers.

After that there was another cunt, a blond faggot who asked me if I had any bottles of liquor or cigarettes. When I responded: "I have a bottle of jenever," that cancerous human piece of shit sent me into a special screening room.

Inside, an innocent-looking Swiss kid was on his phone, when a fat-redneck-cracker-fag, who I hope dies of a heart attack or diabetes, came and very aggressively and loudly told him: "Put your phone away or I'll take it and you'll never get it back!" 

That tyrannical piece of shit... I hope his daughter marries a 'hood rat that knocks her up and abandons her with a Down Syndrome baby.

Then, after waiting 20 minutes in line, a piece of shit motherfucking mongrel, balding and with a beer belly, opens my bag. I've never had my bag opened before, but that wasn't enough for that poor excuse of an SS agent. That cocksucking mutt asked me how much money I had. 

I was very polite -- as I typically tend to be -- and took out the 90 euros or so I had in cash. I'm sitting here, wondering why a US citizen entering the US would be asked how much money he has on him? That cancerous pig humiliated me. If I had any less self-control, I would have smashed his head to a bloody pulp with my bare fists right then and there, and then I would have taken a piss on the bloody filth that would constitute the remains of his skull and brains.

Well, dear TSA fags, I hope you all get anal cancer, and I hope that all of those three pieces of shit in Houston get brutally raped, gravely aggravating their anus cancer, or that their entire families get raped while they watch the blood drip down the legs of their children. Where is ISIS when you need them?