Cunt of the Week: Judge Joan B. Gordon

Abreu Report has a new section -- Cunt of the Week -- which will highlight one individual, male or female, who is by our definition of the word: a cunt.

Judge Gordon is one butt-hurt-little-bitch! She got plowed into by a drunk driver at 4pm -- but this was back in the 1980s -- and since then has been all about preaching to everyone about the danger of drinking and shit, telling a woman who had like two glasses of wine: "Ma’am, what are you going to do on your own to try to keep control of this drinking problem?"

Of course, that fucking cunt doesn't realize that she's simply making life difficult for minority defendants, many of whom are picked up by white officers for petty offenses, like drinking two glasses of wine and shit. 

Just yesterday, the New York Times wrote about Her Honor, who is so adamant about destroying people's lives for even two glasses of wine, that she forces them to live in rat-infested apartments.

"You’ve had a really bad attitude through all of this, and I’m not going to authorize another change of address, so don’t even think about it," Her Honor told a woman; "The whole idea is to see if you can do things like follow rules, because if you can follow rules, then that gives the court some hope that you can do things like obey laws."

Yes, Judge Gordon is such a cunt that she would force a woman who got pulled over and failed a breathalyzer to continuously get raped in a house.

Judge Gordon is not only an accessory to kidnapping -- by forcing individuals on probation to remain in a specific rathole -- but it's statistically likely that she's responsible for a large number of women getting ripped a new asshole at the hands of big-dicked motherfuckers.

Furthermore, it is my opinion that beyond being an accessory to rape, that cunt Judge Gordon probably has poisoned women, by forcing them to remain in vermin-infected apartments where exterminators had operated, and by overburdening individuals on probation to such an extent that they were made to slip up and subsequently spend weeks in conditions described as barbaric.

The NY Times reported: "The Baltimore City Detention Center is so bad that the governor recently ordered part of it shut down after a recent federal investigation of the jail resulted in 40 convictions. In June, a court filing by the American Civil Liberties Union detailed black mold, vermin infestations, filthy mattresses and prisoners who, lacking working toilets, were forced to defecate in plastic bags. The jail does not provide clean underwear, so prisoners wash their own in mop buckets and sinks."

Thus, for her ISIS-level savagery and multi-decade revenge addiction, Abreu Report is proud to award Judge Joan B. Gordon with the first ever "Cunt of the Week Award!"

Note from the editor: Dutch police have recently summoned me to answer questions about my use of the word "cunt." As a result, I have decided to use the word regularly.

Dominican Transport Federation Ceases Delivery of Food, Medicine into Haiti

The Diario Libre, one of the largest circulation dailies on the island of Hispaniola, is reporting that Fenatrado -- the National Dominican Transport Federation -- is refusing to deliver  food, medicine and other merchandise into Haiti, with all drivers paralyzing their operations at the three main border cities: Jimaní, Dajabón, and Elías Piñas.

The Chief of the Dominican Transport Federation, Mr. Blas Peralta, told Diario Libre that his colleagues are unwilling to drive into Haiti until the Haitian government provides them adequate protection. 

Mr. Peralta further added: "We won't enter Haiti. If the recipients of the merchandise still want it, they can come and pick it up on our side of border."

Listin Diario
However, this is an almost impossible task for many of the groups/individuals awaiting the arrival of medicine and construction material -- exceeding over 4,000 tons by current estimates, up to 30% of which may be food --  due to the lack of vehicle ownership by many Haitian entrepreneurs and food retailers. Further, road conditions in certain towns in Haiti means that large retail centers will simply begin to suffer shortages as individuals begin hoarding. 

These shortages will most severely affect Haitians who are unable to drive, essentially meaning that the elite will suffer no consequences.

The Listin Diario, a large circulation daily in the Dominican Republic, reported that Fenatrado is only willing to lift the mini-embargo when the Haitian government agrees to abide by accords signed with the Dominican Republic, in which Haiti promised to provide protection to employees of the Dominican Transport Federation.

Mr. Peralta told the Listin Diario: "The border is not closed. Only trucks affiliated with the Dominican Transport Federation, about 6,500, will cease transporting merchandise into Haiti."

Mr. Peralta said that this stoppage was due to a series of daily assaults over the last two weeks in which 60 drivers suffered broken windshields, punctured tires, and stolen merchandise at the hands of Haitian mobs. According to Mr. Peralta, 5 truck drivers are currently hospitalized as a result of the attacks.

Due to current tensions between the Dominican Republic and Haiti over the DR's heavy-handed immigration policies, it is unlikely that this situation will be resolved in a timely manner. Though the Dominican Transport Federation stands to lose a significant amount of money, the people most affected by this stoppage will be those who most need the food and medicine and building materials delayed at the border.

Dutch King Indicted for Lèse-majesté by Prosecutors in The Hague

Bron: ANP
The King of the Netherlands, Willem-Alexander, is in hot water with Dutch prosecutors. His Majesty has been indicted for an insult he hurled at Queen Máxima after a night of hookah and drinks with some of his Dukes.

The incident took place in a popular pub in the center of Amsterdam, where His Majesty the King had been imbibing for a few hours. The typically jovial King got a bit tipsy and started dancing on top of a table; an act which, unbeknownst to His Majesty, was being recorded and would be subsequently posted to Youtube.

Also posted on Youtube was a video of His Majesty hugging a voluptuous, 190cm blonde. Her Majesty Queen Máxima, who was in a nearby coffeeshop huffing down some reefer with her Argentinean generals -- many of them in power since the dictatorship -- got wind of His Majesty's drunken antics and, like a typical Latina, grew furious and decided to storm the pub.

Bron: ANP
Her Majesty marched over to the pub and grabbed the King by the hand, told him he was gonna hear it when they got to the palace. His Majesty was having none of it, and in a heated, drunken moment, shouted: "I'm kicking some pints with my Dukes, take your hands off me, you fucking cunt!"

At that point, security surrounded the place and made everyone turn off their phones, so it's hard to determine just how loudly Her Majesty shouted, "just wait 'til you get back to the palace, coño!"

After receiving over 6,000 complaints, prosecutors in The Hague decided to indict His Majesty the King under a centuries-old law which criminalizes insults to members of the royal family. The 1886 law, which is used seldomly, could see His Majesty fined up to 40,000 guilders, or incarcerated up to 5 years.

His Majesty the King has acquired the legal services of barrister Willem Jebbinks, who told Abreu Report: "The Netherlands likes to say it upholds human rights to the highest standards, but The King's indictment is a shame and disgrace."

Pete Bouckaert, a director at Human Rights Watch, said he was concerned about the indictment of the King. "This case represents a clash between the liberal outlook of Dutch society and an antiquated law that I am sure the queen doesn’t think is necessary to protect her stature in Dutch society,” he said.