The Rise of Corporate Terrorism

According to science, people need water and therefore it makes sense that the federal government should carefully monitor any threats to people's needs. Because water is so important, the Department of Homeland Security considers that unfounded complaints about water are acts of terrorism.

In June of last year, USA Today reported that some residents of Tennessee were warned that they needed: "to make sure that when you make water quality complaints you have a basis, because federally, if there's no water quality issues, that can be considered under Homeland Security an act of terrorism."

If, for example, an individual were to dial his local water quality office to complain about a narcotic substance such as Tetrahydrocannabinol running rampant out of his water faucet, he'd have to make sure that the water was actually contaminated with THC. Otherwise, federally, that could be considered terrorism according to officials in Tennessee. Terrorism carries a lot of years in prison, and a simple phone call could result in a person being stripped of the right to vote, travel abroad, and of exercising their 2nd amendment rights.
Furthermore, a cell phone terrorist would be, once released as a felon-for-life, rabidly turned away from most jobs. In the Land of the Free, one phone call could bring an end to a person's freedom. It's dangerous to cause panic, making people believe that their water is contaminated. However, it's perfectly legal to actually contaminate 300,000 people's water supply. A little corporate accident is no big deal, especially because as the CEO of Freedom Industries -- the corporation involved in this "little accident" -- demonstrated on TV, people should just drink bottled water and suck it up.

Though the LA Times recently reported that the people of West Virginia could be inhaling formaldehyde when showering, Good Guy Gary would just recommend that people "spend some time at their summer home until this whole thing settles over." And because Gary lives in the Land of the Free, he's free to go to his summer home and relax until people forget about this whole thing. Freedom rocks! and therefore Gary can simply follow in the footsteps of Erik Prince van Blackwater and change his company's name to: Freedom Corporations; it works as just as well as hiring a PR manager, and/or checking into rehab.

If Gary handles himself like many of the banksters responsible for the Great Recession, the statute of limitations should run out in any unlawful activity that could lead to him.  This man-made disaster will certainly result in the birth of many babies with abnormalities, but so confident is Gary in his ability to evade any charges that he demonstrates in front of the camera how aloof he is to the needs of the 99%.