King George III Proposes Media Shield Law

His Majesty King George III, sovereign of Great Britain and Ireland, has proposed a media shield law to protect reporters in the American colonies. In light of increasing terrorist attacks by radical elements in the Colonies, it's becoming increasingly clear that there is no legislation firmly in place to protect British journalists who travel to the Colonies in order to conduct legitimate media activities.
Is this man promoting mob violence?
Thomas Paine, a pamphleteer of incendiary libel and treason, openly criticized the new media shield law being proposed: "Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness."
Paine, who in the past has been denounced by patriots, distributed a pamphlet where he utilized religious demagoguery and wrote in a manner unbecoming a gentleman trained in classical Latin. Paine defended his pamphlet as an act of journalism, despite the fact that he's not employed by a legitimate media organization, nor is he employed by an agent of the King.
Benedict Arnold Pelosi has gone so far as to decry Paine, stating that: "No one who distributes pamphlets while hiding his name should be considered a real reporter. I think the media shield law should protect only salaried agents of a legitimate news dissemination organization. Simply put, Mr. Paine is not a member of the traditional media, and he should be imprisoned for defamation."
Benjamin Franklin, a satirist, defended Paine and called Benedict Arnold Pelosi a traitor. Mr. Franklin, however, did not respond to questions about the sexual scandals currently damaging his reputation. Mr. Franklin published letters where he openly advocated the sexualizing of older women, causing great scandal among the publick. Mr. Arnold Pelosi stated: "It's exactly the type of sexual deviant like Mr. Franklin that I would expect to come to the defense of a pamphleteer too cowardly to even put his name to the libel that he disseminates against King and Country."
Mr. Franklin did not respond to Abreu Report's repeated inquests into his sexual escapades and the scandal it has brought upon the minds of children.