The Day I Possibly Woke Up in Austria

I flew into Munich on Tuesday night and had a phone and, unlike last year, had money. I think I met up with my friends. I think. Everything in this article is simply a vague reconstruction, not much unlike how the DEA uses donated NSA metadata. If I had a phone maybe I could call up my buddy in DHS and ask him to slip me a favor, but that's not possible, nor is it recommended, but anyway, I digress.
Typical Hofbräuhaus shenanigans happened and then I went drinking with my dangerous Turkish friend and a piece of paper and witnesses tell me that I had an incident with an irate German which resulted in his annihilation, an annihilation which led to another incident with 10 undercover German cops [I'm innocent!] The incident with the undercover cops resulted in some scratches and my sweater got dirtier than that homeless alcoholicresidentially-challenged guy who always hangs out at the bottom of Hooker Hill in Itaewon, Korea and who last year was banging Shenniqua.
I didn't bother changing my sweater on Wednesday; it was bloody and complemented my forehead, neck, and scruff -- which were scratched by either the German guy or by the cops. In the morning I somehow wake up in my hotel, and one of my friends was on the floor, destroyed. Nonetheless, they shaved and don't have afros, so they managed to morph into seemingly-employed-decent-human-beings after time in front of the mirror and a shower. My buddy had a breathalyzer and I blew a .08 as soon as I awoke; an alcohol content which was immediately boosted by the two beers I drank as I waited for them, and which was further boosted by the two beers I drank on the way to the tent.
According to my friends I was really loud and annoying, so they ditched me and disappeared into Hofbräuhaus. I waited for those assholes for half an hour, and eventually decided to go to the train station. There is a missing chapter of my life which will never be filled, but the next thing I know I'm on a train near the Austrian border. I started panicking because I didn't have my jacket and thought my passport and European ID were inside, but then I remembered that I had been in Munich for a day and that I'd flown in the previous day. After I calmed down I stepped out at the next train station, and somehow friended a gang of teenagers who had never met an American.
They basically treated me like a celebrity, and luckily you can drink on the streets everywhere near the vicinity of Bavaria. The teens kept me company and even took me to the gas station to get booze. The train back to Munich wouldn't pass by again for a few hours, so I took a tour of the town. It was surrounded by mountains and the houses all had balconies with pink and purple flowers -- a really classy place. Though I don't remember how or why I got there, the town was worth it! If I could only remember the name, I would surely consider waking up there again.
I took the train and after an hour or so some train cops passed by asking me for a ticket. I told them I didn't have a ticket, had to explain to them what had happened, and they were cool about it. I arrived for the last couple of hours before the tents closed, and then remembered that I hadn't eaten in over a day. After we left the tents we decided to get food, but instead just got more beer. After the food delay, I was not able to form any more memories until Friday night or so.