Threats a Dominican Guy Can Get Away with Making at a Press Conference

"Go home to your wife!" Diario Libre
The hardest thing about being Dominican is knowing what not to say when around non-Dominicans.

These are all actual comments which have been made by people in the media, and even my own friends and family members.

1) "Let's start a secret society and overthrow the government." 

2) "We're going to take Taliban measures" against Uber for operating in the country.

Publicly announce plan to use Taliban playbook against Uber. 7Dias
3) "Your childhood friend is going to die, I'll give him the 'the bad eye.'"

4) "There won't be any tomatoes or rotten eggs left in this country" if Mario Vargas Llosa gets that literary prize.

5) "If they touch me, this country will catch fire on every corner."

6) "If that faggot, the American Ambassador, shows up around here, we're gonna hang ourselves from a tree."

7) "Let's ask the Arabs what they would do if the US sent them a homosexual preacher."

8) "I'm going to put a bomb in the municipal library." After being asked to leave for being too loud.

9) "If I start squealing, the earth will tremble."

10) "Tell the President to come and pick up that tax bill here personally, I have a bat ready for his jaw." To a group of soldiers.

If you're Dominican and thinking of holding a press conference, don't forget to bring along a couple of friends to laugh along with you.