I told my transgender friend that I wanted to try human flesh and she told me that I could have her testicles if I paid for them to be cut off. Being the cheapskate that I am, I instead decided to find an experienced cutter on the internet who was within driving distance from the Netherlands.
As luck would have it, a guy on Eunuch Maker volunteered to do the job, so long as we could drive to his hotel room in Germany. I drove Maria [not real name] to the hotel room in Dusseldorf and the cutter immediately began to work.
After injecting her with enough Lidocaine to take down a horse, the cutter made his first incision. Every time Maria screamed "wow," the cutter would inject more Lidocaine. Things appeared to progress rather quickly and normally.
The cutter asked me to cut the last spermatic cord and I obliged. It was my first time cutting living flesh before consuming it, certainly a strange sensation as a vegan.
After stitching things up, I gave Maria some time to compose herself before carrying her down the staircase.
We made our way back to the Netherlands, with her testicles nicely stored in Tupperware with some ice.
On the ride back home, I could think of nothing but how the meat would taste after more than a decade of veganism. Of course, this was in my eyes ethical meat since no innocent, living beings were injured before it made its way to my plate.
We made our way to my apartment and I placed Maria on the couch. I asked her if she felt
comfortable smelling the burning scent of her own flesh, but she was too numb to say much.
I set the wok down on maximum fire and threw some coconut oil on it. After it thoroughly melted, I added some chopped onions and fresh garlic, red pepper powder, asafoetida, Ras el hanout, and kurkuma. I cleaned the testicles in a cup full of vinegar and then threw them into the wok.
To top everything off, I threw some ketjap manis into the wok.
The smell was delicious, a powerful, sweet scent from the melange of spices from all over the world that can only be found here in the Netherlands.
The meal was finally served, and I warmed up some leftover rice in the microwave.
I offered Maria a taste of what little she formerly had left of her manhood, but she told me that I had earned it all for the favor of driving her to Germany and watching over her at my place in case there were any complications.
It's been a long time since I've tasted flesh, so I figured I would be encountering a weird taste, but I can safely describe the meal as exquisite, with the crunchiness of Maria's testicles giving the plate a taste similar to tempeh.
Although I intend to continue being a vegan, I can safely say that tasting human flesh was a wonderful and almost religious experience.
